In Rexburg, on the 17th of April, a young man named Cody Simmons was found dead, and the assumption is that he committed suicide. My bishop talked with me and the other youth today concerning those events, and advised us to please, if we are feeling depressed, seek help. And he reminded us that it was definitely possible that the help we found and needed would be professional help. Professional counseling, or perhaps medication. I'd just like to second that.
Recently, I spoke with a friend about such issues. Unofficially, the term is called "scrupulosity." This is a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder concerning theology, standards, and belief, where the subject is not obsessed about keeping things neat and clean in their environment, but rather about keeping their life in order; keeping themselves in check and confirming rigidly to their own standards and beliefs. This becomes an issue when the person is not able to forgive him/her self for what he/she has done; the mistakes that he/she has made. And it really is a hard thing to go through. I have empathy for those of you out there who have this problem, and I want to just tell you what I told that friend of mine.
Perhaps it is something just among certain members of the LDS church, but I think we believe that if we'll just have enough faith, everything will be all right. This is true in certain aspects of life; Jesus himself healed those in his lifetime who had faith that they would be healed. Certainly the healing power of Christ has the capacity to make us whole. But that does not mean we should disregard other methods of healing.
There is a scripture in 2 Nephi. It's chapter 25, verse 23:
23For we labor diligently to write, to apersuade our children, and also our brethren, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by bgrace that we are saved, after all we can cdo. (italics added)
I think it's important to note that last part, "After all we can do." There are things we can do to help ourselves, and I think Heavenly Father is fine with that, as long as they are within the boundaries of reason. There is a very famous story in the church about Joseph Smith; when he was young, he had an infection in his leg. He was offered alcohol to help with the pain during the surgery, but he wouldn't take it. I think that was an intelligent thing to do. If your beliefs conflict with some activity, then I don't think you should participate in it. I don't think it would be wise, if you were a nervous person, to smoke cigarettes to calm your nerves, because I believe that Heavenly Father doesn't want us to do that, and I know that it harms our bodies. So for Joseph not to drink alcohol was a brave move. BUT, I have confidence that it is NOT in the beliefs of the church to avoid medication altogether: The following is an excerpt from a talk by M. Russell Ballard in the October 2010 session of General Conference:
"Now, brothers and sisters, please don’t misunderstand what I am saying. I’m not questioning prescription medications for those suffering with treatable illness or great physical pain. They are indeed a blessing. What I am saying is that we need to carefully follow the doses prescribed by doctors. And we need to keep such medications in a safe place where youngsters or anyone else cannot gain access to them."
Elder Ballard's talk includes the dangers of addiction, including addiction to prescription medication, but he provides this disclaimer: That prescribed medication is not inherently evil. "It is indeed a blessing." I can see how it would be especially hard for those with the belief that medication was wrong AND with scrupulosity to submit to giving it a try. But, I sit here blogging this today and tell you that it is not wrong. An Apostle of the Lord has said that to take prescription medication is fine, so long as it is done in the right doses; appropriately. And personally, if medication for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Depression was not available to me, I don't know that I would be here today. I'm doing great now, but it is only through the help of medication and counseling. That brings me to my second point:
In my conversation with my friend, there were two things I asked him to give a chance: Counseling and Medication. We've talked about medication; let me talk about counseling. You might find yourself uncomfortable with the prospect of talking openly to someone about your problems, but I want to let you know that if you can give it a chance for a few sessions, and steer past those first bumpy parts, it can be a great benefit. These people can help you to work out big mental blocks and discrepancies in your thinking.
I know this is quite the post, but I just want to add my own personal opinion on the end. Another person I know talked today about the act of committing suicide, and deemed it as selfish. Let me say first that I am not advocating nor justifying suicide; far from it. I am advocating that you do what you can to help yourself to stop being depressed. Neither am I denying that indeed, when someone takes their own life, they are probably not thinking about the pain that they will cause their family, friends, acquaintances and fans when they leave. And you do have them. Don't think for a moment that you don't. You have people that look up to you, that love you, and that want the best for you. They don't have to be related to you to care about you. In that sense, suicide is selfish. A person who commits suicide is not thinking about others when he/she acts. But can you blame them?
How can people who are depressed have any time to think about anyone but themselves? Especially people with scrupulosity! They are busy focusing on being the best they can be and doing the best the can do! They're not going to take the time to look at someone else, because they have to focus so hard on keeping their standards. But those of you out there who are depressed or have a disease like this one, please, do yourselves a favor.
Get help.
I know that prayer helps in these situations, and that to turn to the Lord in times of need is more than just beneficial; it is essential for an optimal life. I also submit that it is indeed possible that the way the Lord will bless you when you ask for his help is by putting in your path a way to help yourself.
The family of Cody Simmons has my sympathies, and I hope that they will be comforted and assisted by their local neighborhood and community in this trying time. We will pray for you.
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