Nauvoo Pageant Part 2

Today, I learned about one of my most recent shortcomings. We were talking to one of the cast members today, asking her what she had learned this year in Nauvoo. She talked about (at least, as I understood it) how she felt like, since she had been a part of the pageant before, this year there was nothing left to learn. She wasn’t receiving much attention from the directors and such, because the newer cast members (the ones who hadn’t been before) needed it. And I realized that that has been my problem recently.

I just barely finished reading the Book of Mormon all the way through again, and while I know that I have much to learn as far as the history goes (where events in the Book of Mormon can be found IN the Book of Mormon, where they are on a timeline, who the major/minor characters are, what they did, where they can be found, etc.), I feel like I have many of the principles down pat. When I stumble across a certain verse in the scriptures, I have a thought and take out my pencil to write it down in the margins, only to find that I put the thought there already during a previous reading. And I just start to wonder what I have to gain from going through the Book of Mormon again. I reason that I can start researching the other books in the Scriptures (Old Testament, New Testament, Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price) but then I remember that we have been asked to read the Book of Mormon every day, and that there are many people far older than me that read it consistently. At that point I cannot be so presumptuous as to say that I know everything there is to know about the principles in the Book of Mormon. I just feel like I’ve touched upon everything at face value, but now I must go deeper; I just don’t know if I have the tools to go deeper, or whether to venture deeper would be better for me, or worse. As I read the scriptures, I come up with ideas about what they are trying to teach me, but sometimes I feel like what I come up with has little bearing that I know of in the scriptures themselves, and I don’t want to write it, for fear that I, or someone else who reads my copy of the scriptures who knows little about the church or the gospel, will fall upon a phrase I have written and interpret it as something doctrinal. That, I think, is my biggest roadblock: coming up with ideas as to the doctrine being taught in a scripture, and presuming that they are correct. I suppose the best solution to that is simply to research the idea further in the scriptures; see if there is anything anywhere else in them that supports my claim. It’s just a little worrisome to me; like I’m going into deeper waters that could drown me if I’m not careful. But there’s a solution to my problem out there somewhere, I am confident. I just need to find it.

I’ve had a similar problem recently when it comes to watching the pageant. I have participated in the pageant with my family a total of 4 times: We were in the Green Cast in ’06, the Yellow Cast in ’07, the Green Cast in ’09, and my brother and I were on the Work Crew in ’10 while my mother and sister were in the Red Cast. We have been in the pageant so much that there was a point at which I think I could sit down and quote much of the pageant to someone, word for word. That time has passed, but I still feel as though I have extensive knowledge of the pageant and the doctrines it presents. So I feel as though I have nothing more to learn from it. As I thought about that tonight, I wondered if this was simply a stage in my life in which I had to learn a few things, and I had learned them now, so it was time to move on to something bigger which I did not know. A ‘Greater Pageant’ as it were; something new for me to experience and learn the gospel through. But again, the same arguments arise. There are cast members who are still involved with the Pageant who have been for many years already. It seems they have something more to learn, or at least something more to do. It’s just difficult when I have heard every line in the pageant over and over again. It feels so much when I listen to it like I know enough about it. But I feel like there’s got to be something more that I haven’t reached yet; that I don’t know enough about. Just like in the scriptures. I have read them many times, especially the first part of First Nephi, to the point where reading the words, “I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents,” seems more like a chore than a blessing. But there must be something more there. There always is. It’s just waiting to be found, and I need to put in the effort to find it.

Again, if you haven’t seen the pageant yet, I recommend it with all my heart. There is something amazing about it. If you will come with an open mind, and an open heart, I do not think you will be disappointed. You will learn something, and you will feel something. I hope you can come; if not this year, the next year, or the next. It’s a great experience.

P. S. Forgive me if this post or the one before it has some grammatical errors, typos, or other mistakes. I've been a little tired, and I don't have to time to look over them just yet.